Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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