So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
