So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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