dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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