I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
