you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
