I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
do herpes really smell.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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