Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
