If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just invented taco cereal.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
