dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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