If that was your dad, he is hot
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize