I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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