I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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