Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
