Porn is love you can see.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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