I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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