I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
