The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
