whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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