I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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