Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
