You're my little dorito
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
