She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
