also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
