ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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