I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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