Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
