Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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