please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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