I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
