I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
