Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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