How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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