I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just cut my nipple shaving
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
