If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
