Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
