Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
