its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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