I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
