ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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