this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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