No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize