Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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