I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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