Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
