it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
