it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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