The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
