dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
