Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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