haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
