For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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