I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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