This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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