i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize