Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
