Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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