She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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