booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
