why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
